Sexual Choices for More Meaning and Expression
Adrenaline sex, liquid sex, hard sex, flowing sex, expanded sex, tantric sex, soft sex, extended sex, wet sex, slow sex, ecstatic sex, long-distance sex, quickie sex, more sex… we want it ALL!
In expressing sexual energy, we experience the divinity and diversity of the human body’s potential for awareness and feelings! We are inspired, we are alive, we channel the creative life force flowing through us, either by ourselves or to be shared with others.
Whether we make love three times a day or three times a year, it’s our choice to hook into this life force energy, superficially or deeply. In this age of diversity, when we can tune into hundreds of video channels, radio stations, even web sites, there’s just about everything available for everybody. Alternatives abound! Choices are ours for the taking. The decisions… and resulting experiences… are ours to make. Responsibility rests with us… each of us. No regrets, no blame, nobody in charge of our pleasure destiny except us! Choice involves levels of consciousness in one’s erotic focus, desires, partners, situations. The question is whether we are in a conscious state of alertly and sensitively being in the moment, or are we acting automatically, unconsciously, out of past habit patterns.
The bottom line for us in getting for most out of this life force energy we call sex is to select a path of loving consciousness, wherein self responsibility, empowerment, self-esteem, sensitive spontaneity and clear communication rule. Are we not worth the best possible experiences, adventures, encounters and relationships? Yes, yes, yes! We opt for less stress and more fun. We experience healthy consensual sexual activity as a vital expression of overall health and vitality. We do what we feel to do, separately and together, rather than follow a preconceived idea of what is acceptable. This is our time, this new millennium… an age of diversity, acceptance and exploration of possibilities. It is an age of sexual/spiritual empowerment… living as Gods and Goddesses in the flesh.
For us, first there were the sexual freedom days… all kinds of sensate experimentation. Mmmm good. Then we began to explore deeper ways to relate, as well as new ways to raise, focus and play with the sex energies. We began to include the entire body as a divine field of pleasure. We felt the sexuality of touch, massage, dancing and drumming… even merely gazing into each other’s eyes, or breathing together in simply rhythms of inbreaths and outbreaths. Feelings of aliveness began to spread into every waking moment that we chose to connect with that creative vital frequency. Our relationships felt deeper and more intense. We met each other. Lust and love, passion and consciousness, all blending into one integrated whole. We married. Five years passed. It got pretty esoteric… and yet we never forgot that we are in bodies, that these bodies are here to feel pleasure, to raise and share energy, to harmonize and merge into a oneness that can’t really be written about.
So what can we write about… even advocate in this turning of the ages? One of our mottos is: “expand your envelope of pleasure!”. When communication between lovers is easy, trusting and frank, all roads that lead to the oneness of orgasm are worthy of exploring. It could be a “gee whiz” innocent curious vibe, maybe a sweaty physical test of body stamina, or a dissolution of individual identities into a sea of pulsing psychedelic bliss. It’s all up to the most sexual of all organs: the brain! After all, first comes thought, then comes action! So within our fairly loose boundaries, we intend to stay open to as many choices as appropriate. We listen to what our bodies are telling us, and if it feels okay, we explore. After all, in order to know the boundaries of pleasure, we surrender to the possibilities that sexual diversity offers. Each of us has that choice to make. That’s where the ‘muscles’ of consciousness need to be exercised! For some, there will be many choices, for others, just a few.
New ways of communicating, keeping the dance of energies passing back and forth between bodies and hearts, have been some of the most exciting discoveries for us. Giving each other breath and hair massages, for example. This involves first slowly breathing over the entire body, front and back, in rhythm to sinuous playful music. Then, we repeat the entire process using one’s head of hair, stroking the skin with many different kinds of head motions. Another example, in the spirit of non-verbal vibratory communication, is rhythmically drumming on each other’s in turn, in time to hypnotic trance dance music. There are so many ways to make sounds by forming one’s hands and then slapping the willing thighs and ass of one’s willing partner! (We call this activity “body drumming”… it really gets the appropriate skin areas awakened and juiced up!) In our workshops, video and music, we explore many different paths to “vibrational engorgement”, where every cell of the body is aroused and excited, rather than only the primary erogenous zones. It’s kept us looking and feeling young… and it’s fun! (We’re slim and trim and in our fifties.) Sex doesn’t have to be so serious! For us, although sexual expression is sometimes geared to emotional or physical ‘release’, most of the time it’s in the pleasuring of the other… then the pleasuring of the self, and finally dissolving into Pleasure itself! For us, this has been a path of breath, sound, touch, body positions and movement… as well as lips, nipples and genitals. It’s become the yoga of sex! (Some call this ‘Tantra sex’.)
In the spirit of diversity, we’ve seen that contacting, exploring, balancing and celebrating the male and female energies in each of us, whether we are in a male or a female body, is a wonderful arena of investigation and play. There are many techniques to taste, fill and share these energies with one another. When both partners have options of undulating and/or penetrating, receiving and/or giving, being the passive and/or the active one, not only does this lead to delightful variations on all the basic sexual moves, it also develops a sense of playful partnership where supportive intent replaces competitive intent… we call it ‘interplay rather than powerplay’. A perfect example of this perspective is in our video INTIMATE SECRETS OF SEX & SPIRIT, where we demonstrate ‘horizontal dancing’. One partner lies prone while the other uses his/her body parts to move around the prostrate body, sliding, rubbing, wiggling, pressing and undulating… again in rhythm to erotically arousing music. Another example, from the video, is where we demonstrate ‘joys of the languid lingam. Here, the male partner is totally relaxed, surrendered to being played with by his partner, and she handles the aforementioned member as her own tool for pleasure. No performance anxieties for the male, lots of relaxed pleasures for them both! Finally, in the spirit of sexual health and wellbeing, we show how to give and receive prostate massage for the male and g-spot massage for the female. We are of the firm belief that lack of stimulation in these intimate locations blocks vital energies and breeds decay in the entire body vitality. One might compare these techniques to the need for flossing the teeth… to keep the mouth and teeth happy and healthy!
Finally, we have found that utilizing fantasy together, creating different erotic sets and settings, acting out and being channels for ‘larger that life’ energies, brings new dimensions in which to experience familiar sensual and sexual positions and activities. It may mean the creating of a harem setting, a bordello, a monastary, a divine temple, military barracks, a pirate’s cave… or whatever turns one on. It may mean taking on the energy roles of: the planets Venus and Mars; the elements like fire, water or earth; or gods and goddesses from different historical and cultural traditions. The point is to explore and expand the boundaries of loving expression… and have FUN!
